I was going to blog about the million-dollar-idea I had, which was to remake the classic holiday song, “All I Want for Christmas is You” into “All I Want for Christmas is Food.“
BUT GUESS WHAT:
(You don’t have to watch it. Really. Don’t watch it. Just know that it exists.)
So instead, I’m gonna write a song about what you don’t want your *~*~*CrUsH*~*~* to say to you when you’re groping each other under the **MiStLeToE**!!1!11!eleventy!1!
You should take it to heart, cause I’ve done some slutty things for free cake.
Top 6 Things I’m Not Gonna Put In My Song About Making Out Under the Mistletoe (That I Have Heard Firsthand Whilst Making Out, But Not Necessarily Under the Mistletoe):
1) Things get caught in your teeth like a dreamcatcher–for food.
2) LOOK AT YOU, PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU FROM SPACE RIGHT NOW!
3) Stop that. You sound like a piggy snorting for truffles.
4) AHH–Pizza joint! Why?!
5) Gelatinous nothings. What a fantastic band name.
6) Nakedness is hilarious……..you should try to make me laugh.
I don’t think I’m gonna write a song after all.